Tonight was back to the gym for me. I regret taking as long of a break as I did I regret being Lazy.
But Im back on track for now.
20 Minutes on the bike nearly killed me, not because of my legs hurting from the act of biking while yes yes that did 'hurt' it was a good hurt a good reminder that if I would have been going everyday like I was I wouldn't have even been hurting. but I nearly killed me because of my previously broken tailbone. Lately that has been bothering me Ive been trying to stay off it as much as possible but walking and standing all day kills my back and its a huge vicious circle because the weight loss will help with that. So I suppose I should get used to the pain of the tailbone hurting while on the bike so I can lose more weight and be able to stand and walk around for extended periods of time so my damn tailbone can stop hurting.
Im Tired. Im going to be heading to bed soon.
I'm also at this point and time struggling with something mentally. I'm trying to convince myself its OK to let go and have fun and just see where things go, Its ok to not have a plan, its ok not to have things carefully laid out in front of me. Its ok to just feel and enjoy and not have deep seeded meaning behind things, I know this just tell my girly little heart that. My brain is aware that life isnt a fairy tale, there's no knight in shining armor in my future and I'm sure as hell no princess in need of saving. But my heart doesn't seem to understand that.
My Heart wont just STFU and let my brain take over, then again my brain is all cynical and stuff and Assumes everything is a lie love doesn't exist and hope is pointless.
SO I need my heart and brain to work together 50/50 so I have have a nice even mix of hope and fact.
(My close friends will understand that rant)
And no that rant had nothing to do with my diet or food or this damn food blog but really this shouldnt just be a 'food' blog this should be a 'me' blog I mean everything I feel impacts my weight loss.....
Can of Soup: 3 Pts
2 Sammiches w/Chips: 10 Pts
Rubys Spaghetti: Im gonna say 10 pts cause I had some extra noodles...
Banana: No idea PT value on that.
eh. I cant eat when I'm not Hungry. (that translates into I cant eat when I'm Emo)